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curryjacket

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Reply with quote  #1 
Warning- long post ahead!

This isn't so much of a question, but I would like to say this to Dan an co. Dan, if you do not have a chance to reply to this, I understand.


As many of you know, Jars Of Clay's song "He" is about child abuse, or things similar to that. About a year ago, my parents started getting into horrible fights, and my dad would often take his anger out on me by hitting me, calling me horrible names, etc. If people asked about my bruises, I was forced to lie about it, saying I had fallen down, or something. My dad began doing things like this, as well as stuff I'd rather leave unsaid, more often. And I felt like it was somehow my fault. I then turned to something I will regret forever- cutting my wrists. I felt that I deserved the pain, because I felt like I was the one that was making my parents have all of these arguments.

In December of 2008, I signed up on epinions.com, a website that lets you review products. I soon after went on hiatus from writing for a good 6 months, because I had so much stress in my life. Everyday was a stressful situation, and I have to be able to concentrate immensely to write anything, especially reviews.

This kept going on for a while. It was like..I couldn't do anything. My mom wouldn't do anything to stop him. My older sister was never home. So I just took it. It was like a daily routine. I have finally grown to be able to reach out for help, however. About a month ago, I began seeing a therapist to discuss my problems. It honestly felt like it wasn't getting any better, though.

I had begun to rely on cutting my wrists to be my only escape from all of it. Sometimes I would lose so much blood at one time, that I just felt dizzy and nausea. And..I liked it. I loved that. It was like my drug.

Anyways, I said all of that to say this: Dan, your song, "He", has helped me so much through all of this. It was like..God had intended for you to write that song, because he knew of all of this I would go through. And I want to thank you. Lines like, "They'll Think I Fell Down Again" relate to me perfectly, because I would have to lie about my cuts and bruises, saying I fell down. I cry almost every time I hear this song, and with good reason. And I thank you.

To this day, I still, unfortunately cut my wrists. While I do not rely on it as much as I once did, I still do it. And my dad still beats me pretty frequently. But like I said, it's like it don't even hurt anymore. But I know this all a part of God's will, and will play out just as he wants. But "He" has helped me more than I can explain, and I just wanted to say a thank you, from the bottom of my heart, to Dan, Steve, Matt, and Charlie for writing this amazing song.


__________________
-Cody

"The December In My Veins Is The Only Thing Keeping Me Here"
-A line from a poem by me
Jake

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Reply with quote  #2 
Hey Cody,

I'm sorry to hear about your situation.  It shows a lot of courage that you're willing to talk about it and that you've gone to see a therapist.  Most people try to internalize things and work through it on their own which rarely helps.

I just wanted to let you know that it is not God's will for your dad to abuse you.  Are you still seeing a therapist?  I'd encourage you to keep going if you've stopped.  And if your last one wasn't helping, I'd recommend you find another one.  Your father's abuse is not healthy for you, your mom, or himself.  To resolve the issue of cutting, it sounds like you also need to resolve the issue of abuse.  This is where a therapist or counselor can really help.

This week, I actually went to a counselor for the first time.  I've been strugging with some issues for about 15 years because of some things in my childhood and I really regret not going earlier.  The last 15 years could have been much better had I addressed this stuff long ago.  Issues such as depression, cutting, and abuse really need the special attention of a professional to help you process everything and work through it.

Take care.

Jake
curryjacket

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Reply with quote  #3 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jake

Hey Cody,
I'm sorry to hear about your situation.  It shows a lot of courage that you're willing to talk about it and that you've gone to see a therapist.  Most people try to internalize things and work through it on their own which rarely helps.

Thanks. I was actually very nervous to post about it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jake

I just wanted to let you know that it is not God's will for your dad to abuse you.

Then why is he letting it happen? I want to take action, but I'm unsure as to what exactly to do...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jake

Are you still seeing a therapist?  I'd encourage you to keep going if you've stopped.  And if your last one wasn't helping, I'd recommend you find another one.  Your father's abuse is not healthy for you, your mom, or himself.  To resolve the issue of cutting, it sounds like you also need to resolve the issue of abuse.  This is where a therapist or counselor can really help.

I am still seeing a therapist. Going to therapy has helped me a lot.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jake

This week, I actually went to a counselor for the first time.  I've been strugging with some issues for about 15 years because of some things in my childhood and I really regret not going earlier.  The last 15 years could have been much better had I addressed this stuff long ago.

I am praying for you.

__________________
-Cody

"The December In My Veins Is The Only Thing Keeping Me Here"
-A line from a poem by me
Jake

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Reply with quote  #4 

Maybe someone else can offer more insight or help here.  In my life I've never faced this issue and I'm no expert.  I'm afraid to offer up too much other than saying you're doing the right thing by seeing a therapist and that what your dad is doing is not OK or God's will.

Quote:
Originally Posted by curryjacket

Then why is he letting it happen? I want to take action, but I'm unsure as to what exactly to do...


This is one of the toughest questions that there are no easy answers to.  Injustice, broken relationships, hurt, and sin are not God's plan.  God hates these things.  However, they exist and this is the world we live in.  We need to find ways to deal with these things and, if possible, fix them.  Again, I'm no expert and this is a very tough part of Christianity.

Quote:
Originally Posted by curryjacket

I am still seeing a therapist. Going to therapy has helped me a lot.


That's great.  What does your therapist say about your abusive environment?

Quote:
Originally Posted by curryjacket

I am praying for you.


Thanks, I appreciate it.  I'll keep you in my prayers too.
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